The law of the garbage truck

I got told off by one of my clients today. Yes, in case you are wondering, working in a service-oriented industry sucks. Big time. It's unbelievable how office politics can get so ugly in some companies and the victim this time, unfortunately, happened to be someone out of the company: me. She (sadly, women are extremely prone to mood swings, more often than not) didn't even want to hear my explanation.

Perhaps she's having menopausal depression.

Or maybe she didn't get any from her husband last night.

Kudos to her for ruining my whole morning – Thursdays are supposed to be one of my favorite days of the week, after Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Wednesday; in that exact order.

I would also like to take this opportunity to retract my apology for the following reasons:-

(1) First and foremost, I am adamant that I didn’t do anything wrong

(2) If she has done her job in the first place then this wouldn’t have happened. I find it extremely amusing that this thought has never crossed her mind.

(3) Last but not least, people who behave like a**es do not deserve any apology. After all, we don’t go about saying that we're sorry to donkeys after accidentally stepping on their tails, do we?

But then again, I remembered this forwarded gem that I received in my inbox not too long ago:

Law of the Garbage Truck by Author Unknown One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. He was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

I guess I shouldn't take it personally; after all, I'm much better than that.

I ain't no garbage collector,

Generation naming explained

Got this from one of my ex-colleague via e-mail today. She’s such a doll as some of the stuff that I received from her in the past really lets me take some time-out during work. [I hope my boss is not reading this!]

Normally will forward it to the people I know (and am fond of, of course) but sometimes I will missed out a few (Too many friends, what to do?). So I’ve decided to post it here from now onwards.

Well, at least you don’t have to actually hear me go on and on and on and on in every single entry here.

Wait a minute, did I just heard a sigh of relief???

Original author/ creative director unknown

The Silent generation: people born before 1946.

The Baby Boomers: people born between 1946 and 1959.

Generation X: people born between 1960 and 1979.

Generation Y: people born between 1980 and 1995 .

Why do we call the last one Generation Y? I didn't know the reason until today - a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...

As they say: A picture is worth a thousand words!

Melly rhymes with smelly,

“Choose what you like, like what you choose.”

Do you know what it feels like to be stuck in a rut - when you know that you are supposed to make a choice and yet you hesitate?

That’s exactly what I’m feeling now.

I want to move forward and yet, I am afraid to make a decision in fear that it would turn into a disastrous one.

Deep inside, I know that I don’t want to be stuck in this situation forever because I am no longer happy with it. I may be able to lie to the whole world but I can't lie to myself.

It’s not supposed to be this way and I do not want to end up like the people that I used to make fun of.

God, I am such a coward.

I guess I just have to be brave and face my fears. After all, I am a rational human being. Well, at least that’s what I think I am anyway.

Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be.

“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Carlos Casteneda

I don't need another alarm clock,

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Sometimes in the spur of the moment, we say hurtful things and a nanosecond after the words came out of our mouths, we are filled with regret but then the thing with words is that you are unable to take them back.

The damage has already been done.

I do that a lot, especially when I’m provoked. Although at times when I look back, I realized how foolish I was. But I still find it extremely hard to apologize, particularly in situations where I think I wasn’t the one who started the whole drama.

I’m stubborn that way.

~~~

Late this evening I received news that my cousin’s daughter has just been admitted into a hospital. She has already been sick for quite some time but then suddenly fell unconscious.

She is only 18.

~~~

On occasions, we get angry at someone we love due to petty issues. It never occurred to us that if we did not say “I’m sorry & I love you so very much” at that point in time, we may never get the chance to do it ever again; be it tomorrow, the day after or for the rest of our lives.

Is it worth it to put our egos in front of everything else?

“There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know;
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.”

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I’m sorry,

You make me better

During my single heydays, I used to ask myself why I was still single and if there was something about me that repel the guys around me.

I don’t have BO

I don’t have a breath that smells like rotten tomatoes

Neither do I walk around in a Hunchback of Notre Dame posture nor do I look anything like him

I have yet to weigh more than my refrigerator

As time passes by, I have also learned to accept the fact that I may not be anywhere near the following in this lifetime:

As pretty as Singaporean blogger Dawn Yang

As skinny as Kate Moss

Has a body to die for like J.Lo

Call me old-fashioned but I still think that beauty exudes from the inside. I know, I know it sounds like a consolation statement coming out from the mouth of someone who doesn’t look like Jessica Alba but what’s the point of looking drop-dead gorgeous when behind closed doors you are a backstabbing, conniving & pretentious b*tch? After all, beauty fades with time.

Although nowadays with Botox and cosmetic surgeries it seems that we humans are in fact capable of stopping time.

And when my man entered my life, he made me realize that I may not be as good as I thought I was. I’m not saying that I initially thought that I was flawless but he actually made me see so much of my imperfections (in terms of attitude, of course, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???) that it actually bowled me over.

By that time, I was already starting to doubt “How can someone possibly ever want to spend the rest of his life with me?”

The thing is that I have lived independently for a long time and even when I was in relationships, most of the time; my ex-bfs just let me be, well, me. I do what I like, say what’s on my mind, behave the way I want, etc.

In summary, I am a selfish being.

And I always hold the belief that we should accept the person we love for who he is instead of trying to change him into who we want him to be. That’s why when he came into my life; I found it difficult to accept that he was trying to change me until one day, when we were arguing about one of my antics, he said “Do you think that I go around complaining about others? I only do it because I truly care about you.” (The actual truth is that he does complain a lot but I’ve also learned when to talk & when to shut up)

So you might think after the incident I would have miraculously transformed overnight and we would have lived happily ever after in the magical castle. Let me tell you that you thought WRONG because me being the stubborn-headed pig is still struggling to change her habits.

But then I looked around and realized that there are a lot of people out there who are, well, normal human beings, just like you, me & Dupree; and they seem to thrive in their relationships so I don’t see why I can’t do the same. (How kiasu!)

So I guess no matter how much I hate to change, I have to start learning how to embrace it for my own sake, for him and for our future together.

“A soul mate sometimes enters our life as someone to stir us up, to hold up the mirror so that we can see ourselves more clearly and antagonize us and make us so uncomfortable that we have to change because we can’t continue to look at the same thing because we’re looking at it clearly now." - Richard Vogt

“I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.” - Author Unknown

She loves me for me,

What do you THINK is your birthright?

Sometimes I feel slightly curious as to why people have children… Let’s rule out all the ‘accidents’ caused by irresponsible individuals. Do these people out there actually worry about the extinction of the human population? Or the fact that when they die, there will actually be someone who will be carrying their family names – is having a child merely an obligation to some of us?

Or do we pro-create simply because we just love children?

I know a lot of people who change once they have children – not too long ago, they are once selfish and doesn’t give a sh*it about anyone except themselves. Suddenly, they turn into these loving and selfless beings, all in the name of their child.

It’s amazing how being a parent can completely transform a person.

Someone once told me that before he had kids, he worked for himself – he spends on what he wants and does whatever he wants. But once his first child came into this world, he feels as if he has a sense of purpose in life and now works hard for the sake of his children’s future.

It makes me furious when some children think that it’s their birthright to demand things from their parents when they know well enough that it is not within their parents’ means – this is especially rampant in Asian society.

These children are spoilt and there is no one to be blamed except for their parents. Is there really a need for an 8-year-old to get a mobile phone? Or a high school girl to own a Louis Vuitton schoolbag? Is it necessary for an 18-year-old to drive to college? And the most ironic of them all is how does someone who is already working dare to ask their parents’ for money?

For their Western counterparts, the children are normally independent of their parents once they finish high school. If they decide to further their studies, a majority of them are expected to get part time jobs to support themselves through college. Or maybe if their parents are wealthy enough, they can consider taking a loan from their parents.

And I’m not sure whether these spoilt brats realize that some mothers actually dump their newborns within minutes after they were born.

Some children are not aware of how lucky they are compared to millions of children around the world. Instead, they complain, moan and whine when their material needs are not fulfilled by their parents.

I hope that someday, my children will learn to be thankful for a chance to be born into this world, for the food on the table, the roof on top of their heads, the shirts on their backs, and more importantly the unconditional love given to them.

“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.” – Bill Cosby

A future mommy,

I ain't no dominatrix

Was having a chat with my man over the weekend when we touched on the subject of dominance – I told him that I cannot imagine myself in a relationship whereby my partner lets me be the more dominating. In fact, sometimes I actually like being told what to do.

His response? He said that although I do not appear to be outwardly commanding, I am actually passively dominant.

So I Googled ‘passive dominant’ and this came up:

“This is a term commonly used by Bertie Trainers to describe both puppy and adult dogs that have a tendency to refuse to behave in a particular way. Over the past 11 years our trainers have become expert in not only identifying such dogs but in treating them. In extreme cases passive dominant dogs can exhibit aggressive and threatening behaviour if not managed appropriately. In mild cases the behaviour can be totally eradicated and in the worst case scenarios we educate the owners to avoid the aggression. Common passive dominance traits are: refusal to walk on the lead, refusal to get off the settee or bed, food guarding, refusal to get into cars, refusal to move out of the way, refusal to go out of doors, refusal to walk past something, sound sensitivity, any fear or phobia based refusals and the list goes on.”

- Excerpt from: http://www.bertiedogs.com/puppy.html

In fact, I did ask him what he meant by that and he gave me an example: we are at the restaurant having dinner and even though I specifically said that I will leave the decision to him, I will still make known what my preferred dishes are. At the end, he will still order the food that he knows I like.

Hmm… I didn’t know that the man in my life understands me better than myself. In fact, I am totally caught by surprise that he actually understands me at all (Well, all I can say is that women are complex beings). And just when I was about to register myself under the 'submissive' category, my man sprung this up and my colleague made this comment: she doesn’t think that I am the dominant type but I sure hell will not allow anyone to walk all over me.

I guess from time to time others see us in a different light compared to how we perceive ourselves to be and every day we learn a little bit more about ourselves.

"He who knows much about others may be learned, but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” – Lao Tzu

Loving my monkey,

The mirror has two faces

Today I had the chance to see another side of an acquaintance – a much softer side than the image that she has earlier projected. I have to admit that I am not as good at reading people as my man but I’d always like to believe that inside every person, there is actually a kind soul waiting patiently to emerge.

I know it isn't fair to judge a book by it’s cover but then again, we can’t deny that on occasions, first impressions are the only opportunity we get to wow others.

When I look into the mirror, I see a person who looks much older than the real me staring back – I think my friends would prefer to use the term "matured face" (how kind of them). However, I have also come to realize that this sometimes works to my advantage seeing that people tend to take me more seriously at work.

I also come across as, ranging from slightly to extremely snobbish, at first glance. And the truth is that I really do need some time to get my engine to warm up. That’s why at times, I feel really uncomfortable when a person that I’ve just got to know, like, 5 minutes ago starts acting way too friendly, especially if the encounter also involves entering my intimate zone and/ or touching my arm - alarm bells will start ringing in my head.

Unless, of course, the person happens to be Bruce Willis.

Or Nicholas Cage.

Or even Allan Wu,

“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.” – Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray

Keep smilin', keep shinin',

Do you believe in karma?

Have you ever noticed one very common trait among Asians? Being all polite and nice even when you don’t feel like it – I have to admit that I am also guilty of this sin.

I, for one, do not like going out of my way for others and this applies especially to people that I’m not close with. For I always believe that if they are my buddies, then they will know me well – at the very least well enough to know my likes and dislikes.

Until today, it never ceases to amaze me each time a so-called ‘friend’ comes up to me and actually have the nerves to open his/ her mouth to ask for a favour. So being the typical Asian that I am, most of the time I’ll say yes. Even though deep inside I loathe myself with every fibre of my being for not having the guts to say no.

God, I am such a doormat.

When you extend a helping hand, do you ever expect anything in return? If you don’t then please allow me to congratulate you because apparently you, my dear friend, have a heart of gold.

Which brings me to my story:-

I have been going out of my way for this “friend” of mine for a few months already. Although after the incident, I seriously doubt that she considers me as a friend after all. Just when I needed her help, she gave me some lame a** excuse as to why she would be unable to return the favour.

Since I don’t like doing things for others (yes, in case you are wondering, I do work part-time selling fish in the market), naturally I am inclined to do my own thing without asking for help – unless I am left with no other choice, which was exactly what happened the day I asked for her assistance.

So from that day onwards, I made up my mind – no more favours, well, at least not for this “friend” anyway. I informed her of my decision and man, it actually felt REALLY good (I know, I know, I’m mean!).

And then something happened to her the very same day she politely declined to help me (I swear, there was no physical injuries involved & I was also not the cause). I remembered clearly how I conveyed the news to my man with glee during the evening and told him that it was her karma.

Oops, wrong move.

I guess the thing with karma is that it always comes back and bites you in the a**. The very next day, as I was on my way to work, I met an accident involving a motorcyclist. Although both of us did not suffer any injuries but my car had to be sent to the workshop for a few days.

I didn’t realize how hellish life could be without a car – things like this happen when you get yourself too attached to the material things in this world. But lucky enough there was a kind Samaritan who offered to chauffeur me to and from work during that period. (God bless this kind soul)

So the man of the house reminded me of what I told him the night before: apparently, this was to be my karma.

As for me, I would very much prefer to look at it as a new, much needed and more importantly, free, paint job for my car – special thanks goes out to my “friend” for it.

"What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keep on smilin’,

Does life go on and on and on?

Have you ever stopped and wondered what is the true meaning of life - if we were put here on this Earth for a reason? Surely it’s not to work our a**es off until retirement age…? & do we truly have to wait until then to finally enjoy our fruits of labour?

Are we doing a good job convincing ourselves that we are working 60 hours a week, for our family and for the sake of a better future for our children? Have we ever asked them if this is all they need from us?

Or do we always think that as parents, we know what is best for our children?

§

• When I was in primary school, my cousin brother got murdered on his way to the bank. I was too young then to even remember his age.

• During secondary school, I’ve had a schoolmate passed away due to brain hemorrhage – she was only 15 at that time.

• In university: talked on the phone to a close friend like we did on most nights and he ended up dead the next morning – he was only a year younger than I am. I still think of him each time I hear Celine Dion’s Because You Loved Me on the airwaves.

• In Jan’07, my baby cousin brother lost his battle with leukemia. If he’d been alive, he’d be 22 in September.

• I lost a grandaunt about a year ago when she had a stroke - she had been in the pink of health before it happened. She never recovered from her coma and left behind her husband of 40 years.

I hope the sun is shining on them, wherever they are at now…

§

Who says that we’ll only die when we grow older? Or only when we discovered we have cancer at its final stage?

The truth is that each one of us know that death is inevitable but we still refuse to acknowledge that it may happen sooner than we think.

What’s the good in all the money we have in the bank; or how many properties we own before we turn 35; and all the Prada & Gucci bags we have in our closets if we were to kick the bucket this second?

Is there such a thing as a Material Heaven where you can still collect all your earthly belongings at the vault?

The truth is that we die; our bodies decompose and get eaten by maggots. Unless you decide that you want to be cremated – this for me is a much better option than rotting away and having worms savoring my eyeballs.

I just have to keep reminding myself not to lose perspective along the way.

& I sure hope the same for you.

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.” - Lily Tomlin

XOXO,

The Giraffe & her destiny

Two nights ago, on my way home from the gym (yes, the couch potato does go to the gym but only once in a blue moon), I was driving with my stereo blasting & adrenaline pumping when I casually glanced at my left side mirror and this thought came across my mind: OH SHIT! – I have forgotten to push my mirror outwards before leaving the parking lot.

Why is it that every time I wish for the traffic lights to turn green, they won’t? And now that I desperately need the car to be in a stationary position, the light mockingly turns green just when I was about to stop, as if to jest me.

Since the traffic wasn’t too smooth that night, I decided to try my luck and stretch my left arm out of the window to push it, with my right foot slightly on the brakes (in case you are wondering, yes, the car was still in motion, slow motion, that is). If I was shorter, my guess would be that I have no other option but to pull over next to the curb to adjust the mirror after moving my a** either to the passenger’s seat or the handbrake area, depending on my height. & if I was a midget, I then would have to totally get out of the car to adjust it.

*

When I was in primary school, my nickname was giraffe.

But the problem is that this giraffe somehow has a birth defect because she didn’t know how to utilize her long legs – she hated all kinds of sports even though she has athlete genes running through her veins. Her mom was a sprinter during her younger days and her baby brother was really good in sports.

So after owning them for more than 15 years, hell am I glad that these long limbs of mine have finally been put to good use.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus, Greek philosopher

Keep smilin’, keep shinin’,