Much ado about nothing

The weather is getting hotter nowadays, which is kinda abnormal since year end usually brings the monsoon season along with it.

Or am I getting my memories mixed up with my younger days up north? When I was elated at the smell and sight of downpour... simply because it would mean that chances were that the area around my school would be flooded and I can spend the rest of my morning(s) snuggled under my warm blanket.

It’s funny how sometimes we are unable to see the forest from the trees… I guess I was young and naïve then that I wasn’t able to comprehend the impact of a bad monsoon.

Maybe at that time, I reckoned that the world did actually revolve around me.

I have to admit that until this day, I can’t say with certainty that I am all matured now – on occasions, I can still be as childish, snobbish and stubborn as ever.

Of late, most of us are griping about the scorching sun and how it never rains anymore. When for the past week or two we were cursing about how it keeps raining, especially in the evening, causing the traffic to be horrendous during rush hour.

Well, I guess God must be up there thinking that we are a bunch of whiners who are too damn difficult to please. Since He can’t please everybody, so why bother?

I personally always complain that I don’t have enough time, especially for my beauty sleep. Even if I was to be given extra 3 hours a day, I honestly doubt that I will have enough time to do all the things that I wanna do.

It's now quarter to 1 a.m. and although I am very much aware to the fact that I actually have less than 5 hours of snooze time left, I am still here typing away… Damnit! I need to get my hands on a time machine. Seriously.

“Our generation has an incredible amount of realism, yet at the same time it loves to complain and not really change. Because, if it does change, then it won’t have anything to complain about.” – Tori Amos

What's love got to do with it?

Was discussing about relationships with someone over dinner earlier. He said that he has found the key to making a relationship last – drumroll please... Don't, you heard me right the first time, I repeat, DO NOT live in with your partner.

How ironic.

When you only see each other on an occasional basis; perhaps over a few drinks/ dinners and a movie throughout the week then the truth is that you haven’t really had the opportunity to get to know the person at all.

But when two people decide to take a big step and move in together, then it’s a completely different situation altogether. You may be able to put on a fake front for about 1 or 2 hours per day, 3 times a week but to be a great pretender throughout your entire life can be a little too tiring, don't you think?

The most common mistake that we women make is that we think we can change the men in our lives. I guess you could say that we believe in the power of love. Or should I say we believe in miracles? Are we really that naïve? Even with superpowers, I doubt that this feat is achievable.

My question is this: How can we make over someone who does not see anything wrong with himself in the first place?

Every so often we only see the things we want to see, hear only things we feel like hearing and choose to believe in things that we yearn to be true.

I am curious as to how many people out there are in their existing relationships just to “be with someone” – the truth is that some people just can’t bear with the idea of being alone. Being in a loveless relationship is, in their opinion, a much better option than being SAD - Single, Available & Desperate. But is this fair to the other party in this so-called “relationship”?

Hell, who says life is always fair?

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." – Woody Allen

Hate that I love you

By Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oh..)

You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

Yeah... Oh...

That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

It's only words

It started off as a good day. In fact, I have been looking forward to today as we were supposed to go out shopping.

It’s been awhile since we’ve taken time off our hectic schedules to actually spent time with each other. He spends a hell lot of his free time with his friends and I don’t complain because being the workaholic that I am, mine are more often than not used up in the office.

I always tell my friends that we were meant for each other that way. Although sometimes I do wish that we can see more of each other but I seldom complain because he doesn’t. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, they say.

What a load of crap.

He said that he’ll come around at 3 pm but it wasn't until almost 4 that he arrived, typical Malaysian-style. I didn’t mind because I wasn’t in a hurry to go anywhere anyway. Hell, it's a Sunday, isn't it?

Things turned ugly when we got into the car. Whilst we were stopping at the traffic light, he asked me to get something out of the glove compartment for him. As I was putting his ties back in afterwards, he screamed at me in a thunderous voice – all for not putting them away in a proper and neat manner. God, I swear the people in the car next to ours could hear him.

Even if I have done wrong, I didn’t see how shouting at me at the top of his lungs would help me be a better person. I am neither a three-year-old nor a puppy that is learning how to differentiate what is right and what is wrong by the tone of its owner’s voice.

By the way, the last time I checked, I still belong to me.

Until today, I still don't see the point of trying to make amends when the damage is already done.

I am sitting here, now, wondering if this person is also going to behave in the same, exact demeanor in the company of our kids someday.

“Words are like spears: once they leave your lips they can never come back.” – Folklore Benin

The whole truth & nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Was watching The Moment of Truth awhile ago. http://www.fox.com/momentoftruth/

It’s amazing at what length people are willing to go to win half a million dollars. Yeah, that’s a whole lot of money but is it worth it at the end of the day if it means humiliating yourself in front of an audience and worse, crushing the hearts of the people nearest and dearest to your heart?

What has become of the world today?

But come to think of it, if they have lived honest lives up to that point in time, they would not be facing any difficulty answering those questions and facing the music post-show.

If they have never stolen money from their workplace…

If they didn’t cheated on their bfs/ gfs/ husbands/ wives…

If they have not made the decision to marry someone whom they don’t think that they are going to spend the rest of their lives with… THAT is a bit sad, isn’t it?

This is the show where people ultimately gets punished for being honest - all that in the name of greed. Or perhaps the idea of appearing on national TV was too enticing that they just can’t say no.

But I guess a majority of us would have done things in our past that we are not proud of and would’ve preferred for the skeleton to remain in the closet forever, secrets that we would like to carry to our graves.

You may call me a wimp but I still think that some things are better left unsaid.

By the way, how accurate is a lie detector machine anyway?

“I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer.” – Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

The Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968

Girl talk

This is especially dedicated to all the gossip girls/ guys out there...

Can you please explain to me how does it concern you if the skirt that I wore today was 1, 2 or even 3 inches above my knees?

Or how I wear my hair?

Obviously something must have struck a nerve somewhere that you had to share with your other friends what you thought about how I looked today. If you have something to say, why don’t you just say it to my face?

Coward.

Oh I forgot, then that wouldn’t count as gossiping, which would be no fun at all because things might just turn ugly.

I heard from the grapevine that someone commented that I may not be as innocent or decent as I look on the outside. Damn right. Just because I don’t conform to what is considered by the society as ‘acceptable’ behavior, doesn’t mean that you have the right to judge me. By the way, if you have yet to realize by now, we are indeed of different eras. Aww... Isn't that obvious? Must I point that out to you?

How sad it seems, that some people are just envious of how pretty another girl is, how she has much longer legs or the plain simple fact that she has a wardrobe full of nice clothes and is more fashion-savvy than the rest of the bunch.

One word says it all: pathetic.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." - Judy Garland

Black heart

I don’t understand how some people can be such fakers, pretending to be your friend and then bad-mouthing you behind your back... And blowing up a simple incident into a tale of gigantic proportions.

Sad to say that about 99.99% of the time, these so-called ‘people’ are actually girls. Funny enough that guys, who can spend endless amount of their time watching chicks at malls, really could not be bothered to involve themselves in such activities.

So what does this hypocrite b***h get from doing this? Does she actually feel better about herself after committing such acts?

If that is the case, I feel sorry for her for having such low levels of self-esteem. Please get yourself a life – do everyone a favour and find yourself a more meaningful hobby to past your time. Our days on this Earth are numbered, too short to let yourself earn so many enemies in one lifetime.

Was talking to a gf earlier today and have concluded that the people around her play a contributory role – we are all guilty from her sins. We thought that by being non-confrontational (in typical Asian, 'Chop Suey'-style), we are refusing to stoop down to her level – just let her be, she’ll grow up someday. But will she? Perhaps she thinks that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her actions – simply because no one has ever told her off.

But I always believe that just because nobody said anything, doesn’t make it right for you to do certain things.

I just want to say this to her: Just because we don’t tell it to your face, doesn’t mean that we don’t know what you are up to. Watch your bloody f**king mouth because our patience has its limits.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

4 eyes

Don’t know the exact reason why I woke up feeling exhilarated this morning.

Maybe I got up from the right side of the bed.

Or possibly I had a good night’s rest?

Or the fact that I had a really fulfilling Japanese buffet brunch yesterday...

Or because I found a really decent shop selling clothes at affordable prices whilst at the mall yesterday?

Or perhaps waking up knowing that I have new clothes to wear to work today?

Or the fact that I actually found a long-lost friend through Facebook over the weekend after searching everywhere since forever? [Thank you, God, for creating the genius(es) who is/are the brainchild of FB, whoever he/she/they are/is)

Maybe it is a combination of all of the above + the fact that I finally grew some balls to start wearing back my contact lens again after depriving myself for 3+ months…

I feel hideous each time I put on my glasses but don’t know why the bf prefers it to me not wearing them. Or perhaps he just doesn’t want me to attract unnecessary attention.

Had an eye scare since June. My left eye was continuously red and towards the evening, the harmonious symphony was accompanied by a throbbing headache. The optometrist couldn’t find anything wrong with the eye, said that it was just an ‘external’ inflammation and not an infection and then proceeded to prescribe me antibiotic drops with steroids. For which I didn’t dare to use too much for fear of becoming blind from long-term usage of the steroids.

Although my eyesight wasn’t affected the whole time, I felt so helpless because there was nothing that I could do to make it better. Was worried that I would become blind but was comforted by my younger bro, who is studying medicine, that it is not that easy to turn blind.

Maybe I watched too much re-runs of House.

“If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything. If you look at what you have in life, you have everything.” – Author unknown

Evening news

Sometimes I find reading the newspapers a rather daunting experience. It's almost similar to reading those forwarded e-mails that you get from your well-meaning friends, warning you of strangers who try to hypnotize you on the streets, the piece of leaflet stuck on your windshield, the seemingly kind man who offers to help you change your flat tyre at the car park, etc.

If one would have taken all those at heart, I guess nobody would ever want to even step out of their homes. Hell, even being at home does not guarantee your safety as there seems to be quite a number of botched up break-in attempts of late. As if taking all your valuables is not good enough, they still want to take your life as well.

I guess it's always better to be safe than sorry. But then we should really try not to get too paranoid and hyped up about how bad the economy is nowadays and perceive everyone out there as trying to get a piece of you. There are still, after all, kind Samaritans in this world.

I hate to sound selfish but somehow I find reading news about murders much more interesting than sports. Or any sort of business related news. Unless of course there is a fire or big jewellery heist at an X or Y company, which could possibly be one of my company's clients. *shudder*

Damn, there goes my bonus...

"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't." - Author Unknown