I ain't no dominatrix

Was having a chat with my man over the weekend when we touched on the subject of dominance – I told him that I cannot imagine myself in a relationship whereby my partner lets me be the more dominating. In fact, sometimes I actually like being told what to do.

His response? He said that although I do not appear to be outwardly commanding, I am actually passively dominant.

So I Googled ‘passive dominant’ and this came up:

“This is a term commonly used by Bertie Trainers to describe both puppy and adult dogs that have a tendency to refuse to behave in a particular way. Over the past 11 years our trainers have become expert in not only identifying such dogs but in treating them. In extreme cases passive dominant dogs can exhibit aggressive and threatening behaviour if not managed appropriately. In mild cases the behaviour can be totally eradicated and in the worst case scenarios we educate the owners to avoid the aggression. Common passive dominance traits are: refusal to walk on the lead, refusal to get off the settee or bed, food guarding, refusal to get into cars, refusal to move out of the way, refusal to go out of doors, refusal to walk past something, sound sensitivity, any fear or phobia based refusals and the list goes on.”

- Excerpt from: http://www.bertiedogs.com/puppy.html

In fact, I did ask him what he meant by that and he gave me an example: we are at the restaurant having dinner and even though I specifically said that I will leave the decision to him, I will still make known what my preferred dishes are. At the end, he will still order the food that he knows I like.

Hmm… I didn’t know that the man in my life understands me better than myself. In fact, I am totally caught by surprise that he actually understands me at all (Well, all I can say is that women are complex beings). And just when I was about to register myself under the 'submissive' category, my man sprung this up and my colleague made this comment: she doesn’t think that I am the dominant type but I sure hell will not allow anyone to walk all over me.

I guess from time to time others see us in a different light compared to how we perceive ourselves to be and every day we learn a little bit more about ourselves.

"He who knows much about others may be learned, but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” – Lao Tzu

Loving my monkey,