Friday, January 2, 2009

Love is never rational

When we fall in love, for the first couple of months, we are on cloud nine and see the world through rose-tinted glasses.


After some time has passed and reality kicks in, assuming that the relationship is exclusive (and depending on our age band, of course), we ask ourselves if this is the one person that we want to spend the rest of our lives with. This reminds me of this quote I came across last night:


“Opposites attract, but after marriage, opposites attack. Most of the time, we are attracted to people who don't have the things that we have. Incompatibility is why we get married, but it's also used as a reason to divorce.” – Author Unknown


It’s not that the relationship has become stale or that the other person has changed drastically. Actually, the truth is that everything is still the same. It’s just that you have made the decision not to get blindsided by the whole love thingy and decided to think rationally for once.


The process could repeat itself a couple of times before a final conclusion is made. And this is the moment when some hearts will be broken.


Is this necessarily a cruel decision?


To me, the answer is no.


Most of the time, the cracks are already visible in the relationship but some people just simply refuse to acknowledge it and prefer to think that they are just going through the motions. They assume that if they just ignore it, everything will return back to the way it used to be.


Denial is and will never be a solution.


Heartbreak may take months or even years to heal and you may think that your ex is heartless b**tard/ b*tch but this could be the best decision that he/ she could have ever made for the both of you. It takes two hands to clap and the relationship will no longer be meaningful if only one party is happy whilst the other person spends most of his/ her days being miserable. In long term, something ugly is bound to happen if everything is not brought out into the open.


Hence, it is always of utmost importance to be honest with each other instead of just keeping all your feelings bottled up inside for the sake of avoiding any sort of altercation. By being silent, you are actually doing the relationship more harm than good.


If your partner loves you, they will never want to see you unhappy. But if he/ she just brushes it off and thinks that you are making a mountain out of a molehill, perhaps it’s time for you to question his feelings towards you.


Sometimes, the truth is indeed hard to stomach but always bear in mind that whatever that does not kill you will only make you stronger.


That is, unless you decide to kill yourself first.


“It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you, it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn’t love you were in. There are no ‘exit’ signs in love; there is only an ‘on’ ramp.” – Author Unknown





I'm a believer,



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