Honey, do I look fat in this?

No comprendo why one would ask a question when (s)he is not ready for an honest answer.

A question which puts the other party in a predicament.

Should he then:

(A) be true to himself (read: honest) and risk jeopardizing the delicate balance of the relationship; or

(B)just say what he thinks she wants to hear, i.e. a safe answer, such as, "You look fine, dear. Uhm, and since we're running late, I guess I'll just go start up the car first."

If your choice is (B), you are hereby forewarned that it may prompt her to say (here, the word 'scream' can also be used interchangeably) "You liar! I am getting fat, I can feel it! I can hardly button up most, if not all of my workpants nowadays. Oh my God, I'm turning into a hippopotamus! Why are you lying to me? Why? Tell me!"

And depending (a lot) on how he reacts, it will end up 78% of the time, with an imaginary border drawn right in the middle of the bed that fateful night, at best.

And a cold war that could last a lifetime and beyond, at worst.

I somehow have a gut feeling that the author of this phrase "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" was exactly in this situation when he had a 'Eureka' experience and coined the phrase.

Some words are best left unsaid.

Or should I say, unquestioned.


"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield, American comedian and actor


Nota bene:
This is NOT from the writer's own personal experience except for the "I can hardly button up most, if not all of my workpants nowadays" part.
As for the "OMG, I'm turning into a hippopotamus!", I'm warning you, don't even go there.