Learning to play by the rules

After so many months, yesterday was actually the first time that I had doubts as to whether I truly belong here.

The truth is that I’m too soft-hearted.

Told my man about the whole incident and he said that I should neither lose sight of my objective nor be easily swayed by other people. No matter who they are or what they say, when it comes to business, it’s always every man for himself.

He asked me what I think my competitors will do if the tables are turned and I know well enough what the answer is. Somehow, I can’t help but feel that this is an extremely cruel dog-eat-dog world.

Maybe it’s time I learn to toughen myself up because it is and will always be about the survival of the fittest.

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” – Albert Einstein

Too sentimental,

Love is never rational

When we fall in love, for the first couple of months, we are on cloud nine and see the world through rose-tinted glasses.

After some time has passed and reality kicks in, assuming that the relationship is exclusive (and depending on our age band, of course), we ask ourselves if this is the one person that we want to spend the rest of our lives with. This reminds me of this quote I came across last night:

“Opposites attract, but after marriage, opposites attack. Most of the time, we are attracted to people who don't have the things that we have. Incompatibility is why we get married, but it's also used as a reason to divorce.” – Author Unknown

It’s not that the relationship has become stale or that the other person has changed drastically. Actually, the truth is that everything is still the same. It’s just that you have made the decision not to get blindsided by the whole love thingy and decided to think rationally for once.

The process could repeat itself a couple of times before a final conclusion is made. And this is the moment when some hearts will be broken.

Is this necessarily a cruel decision?

To me, the answer is no.

Most of the time, the cracks are already visible in the relationship but some people just simply refuse to acknowledge it and prefer to think that they are just going through the motions. They assume that if they just ignore it, everything will return back to the way it used to be.

Denial is and will never be a solution.

Heartbreak may take months or even years to heal and you may think that your ex is heartless b**tard/ b*tch but this could be the best decision that he/ she could have ever made for the both of you. It takes two hands to clap and the relationship will no longer be meaningful if only one party is happy whilst the other person spends most of his/ her days being miserable. In long term, something ugly is bound to happen if everything is not brought out into the open.

Hence, it is always of utmost importance to be honest with each other instead of just keeping all your feelings bottled up inside for the sake of avoiding any sort of altercation. By being silent, you are actually doing the relationship more harm than good.

If your partner loves you, they will never want to see you unhappy. But if he/ she just brushes it off and thinks that you are making a mountain out of a molehill, perhaps it’s time for you to question his feelings towards you.

Sometimes, the truth is indeed hard to stomach but always bear in mind that whatever that does not kill you will only make you stronger.

That is, unless you decide to kill yourself first.

“It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you, it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn’t love you were in. There are no ‘exit’ signs in love; there is only an ‘on’ ramp.” – Author Unknown

I'm a believer,

New Year Resolutions

1. Always remember my priorities in life and never lose sight of the big picture

2. Be more patient and keep those emotions in check

3. Be more thoughtful when it comes to loved ones and friends

4. Stop procrastinating

5. Be less of a perfectionist and stop worrying about things that are beyond my control.

Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be.

6. Be more flexible

7. Hit the gym at least twice weekly

8. Eat more healthy stuff

9. Refrain from accumulating too many material things

10. Finish at least one (1) book every quarter

Well, goals have to be realistic and within reach, right?

11. Have more faith in myself and not forget to count my blessings each day

12. Last but not least, blog more!

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” – Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Happy New Year, guys.

XOXO,

The breaking point

No matter how patient a person is, he/ she still has a certain limit of how much they can take – once this is surpassed, there will be no turning back.

I consider myself to be extremely tolerant to this one particular person all these while and today I felt as if my patience has been stretched to the max. Here I am, asking myself the same questions that I have asked myself so many times before:

Will this be the last time?

If not, can I continue to live with this?

But the most important question of all is of course this: Do I want to accept this as part and parcel of my so-called life?

After all, life is all about making choices, which reminds me of this phrase that a friend once shared with me “Choose what you like, like what you choose”.

I think I know the world will be a better place if people can just put themselves in other people’s shoes for awhile and consider others’ feelings before they act on anything.

“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.” – The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

Happy new year,

The way love's supposed to be

Sometimes I know we fight, sometimes things don't seem right,
Isn't that the way love's supposed to be?
And girl, I know it's hard, don't let things fall apart,
Isn't that the way love's supposed to be?

- Selwyn in 'The Way Love’s Supposed to be'

The other day when we were in the car, one of my bf’s friends asked him what made him attracted to me. I personally have not asked him that question before but I’m quite sure that he sees some qualities in me that he adores.

Even when I am super-stubborn, hate to be criticized and always want to have the last word.

The thing about being in love is that it’s always about taking a leap of faith together because we never know what will happen tomorrow. We could be in a relationship now and break up the next day. Hell, even married couples can get a divorce so who's to say that anything in this world can last forever?

Sometimes, the ‘& they lived happily ever after’ remains a phrase heard only in fairy tales.

But does that mean that we have to give up our quest of searching for true love?

I certainly hope not.

So if I’m single and feeling lonely now, should I re-consider all the men in my life and pick the best option available even if I know that there’s no sparks between us?

Often at times when you refuse to accept anything but the best, it will come to you. I’ve always believe in fate, especially when it comes to love but of course sitting at home waiting for your Prince Charming to come knocking on your door will not be the wisest decision. Unless your Prince happens to be the mailman, of course.

As for me, after all that we have been through, even if we argue, fuss and fight a lot, at the end of the day, it feels good to know that I have someone waiting for me at home. Someone I can turn to at times of hardship, someone to share my laughter and tears with.

Someone who loves me for me.

“Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” – Rabbi Julins Gordon

Thank God I found you,

Hands off my shoes!

I’m sure that a lot of you can relate to this…

One fine day, someone close to you decided to dish some “good” advice to you. In my instance, it is with regards to my relationship. Basically, what I should and shouldn’t allow my partner to do. Actually I have heard this lot of times before and I honestly do not need another mother in my life.

One is already more than enough.

I know that friends meant well most of the time, so I normally will just pretend to be listening and nod my head with some “mmm” and “yes ah?” every once in a while.

~~~

The truth is that we have to make our own mistakes in order to learn from them.

Did I listen to mom when she told me not to get a tattoo?

Nope.

Do I regret having this permanent thing plastered on the small of my back now and most probably forever?

Well, uhm, hmm, well, yeah, on occasions.

If I could turn back time and undo it, will I?

Nah. Maybe I’ll just get it somewhere else less visible.

~~~

Each one of us has to be out there taking chances, following our hearts and at the end of the day, if things didn’t work out, at least we know that we’ve been down that road before and have no regrets.

No what ifs.

~~~

I do not like people telling me what to and not to do in my life. In fact, I have been quite rebellious during my younger days: Going out clubbing until the break of dawn 2-3 nights every weekend, having 6 piercings on 1 ear and 2 on the other, getting a belly ring, a tattoo, etc. But I have to admit that I’ve never smoked or done drugs before even though some of the people around me did.

I must admit that at times I do wonder what it feels like to take an E but then I guess I was just to chicken to dabble into that kind of stuff.

I’m glad that I’m over all that now. In fact, nowadays I would rather sleep than go out clubbing with my friends and I’ve let go of all of my ear piercings albeit one on each ear.

When I look at the scars, I am reminded of my vibrant past and the memories never cease to make me smile.

~~~

Anyway, fast-forward to today, I still don’t like people teaching me how to lead my life. Even though I know well enough that they meant more good than harm.

I give a lot of freedom to my bf and I put 100% of my trust in him as I expect the same in return. I also know that if a guy wants to cheat, he will do it no matter how his gf tries to control him. In fact, the more stifling the relationship is, the harder the partner will struggle to break free.

But one thing with guys I can’t deny is that when you are too nice to them, they will take things for granted. Maybe they didn’t mean to do it on purpose, or maybe they could have just suddenly developed a mild case of Alzheimer’s.

So every once in a while, we have to tug on that chain a bit.

Not too hard, but just hard enough to remind them who’s the boss.

"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Each of us carries his own unique life form - which cannot be used by any other." - Carl Jung

Never bossy enough,

Grow up, puh-leaze!

Some people are smart.

Some are such dim-wits that you start to wonder how they can survive in this world for all these while.

Some act as if they’re smart and better than the rest of the world when the truth is that they are just one of us.

Some pretending to be stupid when in fact they’re not.

And some people are just plain childish and immature.

The conclusion:

This world is filled with groups from all walks of life.

Some you idolize and learn from,

Some you pray you won’t grow up to be like in this lifetime or even the next,

And some, let’s just say that you feel sorry for them because they are beyond redemption.

The inspiration from this entry came the other day when I left a comment on one of my so-called “Facebook friends” after she had posted something.

The next day when I wanted to see if there was any interesting continuation to her sob story, I suddenly realized that I have been taken off her friends’ list and no longer had access to her page anymore.

Oh wow, what an inspiring act. An extremely tough one to follow.

It reminds me of my primary school days: after an argument with our best friend, we tell her “I don’t wanna fren you anymore.”

Like I give a damn.

I know what will follow will make me sound like a broken record but still, she left me with no choice but to say it again:

If you don’t like something, change it. The world will not change overnight just because you complained, complained and complained some more. If you refuse to embrace change, then maybe it’s time for you to just shut the hell up and accept things as it is.

Just needed to get this off my chest and for keepsake purpose under the ‘Just for Laughs’ section.

Come to think of it, maybe I'm the one who's supposed to change and stop complaining since no matter how many gazillion times I've said it, it doesn't seem to have any impact on these people.

“It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.” – Original Author Unknown

I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed,