The mirror has two faces

Today I had the chance to see another side of an acquaintance – a much softer side than the image that she has earlier projected. I have to admit that I am not as good at reading people as my man but I’d always like to believe that inside every person, there is actually a kind soul waiting patiently to emerge.

I know it isn't fair to judge a book by it’s cover but then again, we can’t deny that on occasions, first impressions are the only opportunity we get to wow others.

When I look into the mirror, I see a person who looks much older than the real me staring back – I think my friends would prefer to use the term "matured face" (how kind of them). However, I have also come to realize that this sometimes works to my advantage seeing that people tend to take me more seriously at work.

I also come across as, ranging from slightly to extremely snobbish, at first glance. And the truth is that I really do need some time to get my engine to warm up. That’s why at times, I feel really uncomfortable when a person that I’ve just got to know, like, 5 minutes ago starts acting way too friendly, especially if the encounter also involves entering my intimate zone and/ or touching my arm - alarm bells will start ringing in my head.

Unless, of course, the person happens to be Bruce Willis.

Or Nicholas Cage.

Or even Allan Wu,

“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.” – Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray

Keep smilin', keep shinin',

Do you believe in karma?

Have you ever noticed one very common trait among Asians? Being all polite and nice even when you don’t feel like it – I have to admit that I am also guilty of this sin.

I, for one, do not like going out of my way for others and this applies especially to people that I’m not close with. For I always believe that if they are my buddies, then they will know me well – at the very least well enough to know my likes and dislikes.

Until today, it never ceases to amaze me each time a so-called ‘friend’ comes up to me and actually have the nerves to open his/ her mouth to ask for a favour. So being the typical Asian that I am, most of the time I’ll say yes. Even though deep inside I loathe myself with every fibre of my being for not having the guts to say no.

God, I am such a doormat.

When you extend a helping hand, do you ever expect anything in return? If you don’t then please allow me to congratulate you because apparently you, my dear friend, have a heart of gold.

Which brings me to my story:-

I have been going out of my way for this “friend” of mine for a few months already. Although after the incident, I seriously doubt that she considers me as a friend after all. Just when I needed her help, she gave me some lame a** excuse as to why she would be unable to return the favour.

Since I don’t like doing things for others (yes, in case you are wondering, I do work part-time selling fish in the market), naturally I am inclined to do my own thing without asking for help – unless I am left with no other choice, which was exactly what happened the day I asked for her assistance.

So from that day onwards, I made up my mind – no more favours, well, at least not for this “friend” anyway. I informed her of my decision and man, it actually felt REALLY good (I know, I know, I’m mean!).

And then something happened to her the very same day she politely declined to help me (I swear, there was no physical injuries involved & I was also not the cause). I remembered clearly how I conveyed the news to my man with glee during the evening and told him that it was her karma.

Oops, wrong move.

I guess the thing with karma is that it always comes back and bites you in the a**. The very next day, as I was on my way to work, I met an accident involving a motorcyclist. Although both of us did not suffer any injuries but my car had to be sent to the workshop for a few days.

I didn’t realize how hellish life could be without a car – things like this happen when you get yourself too attached to the material things in this world. But lucky enough there was a kind Samaritan who offered to chauffeur me to and from work during that period. (God bless this kind soul)

So the man of the house reminded me of what I told him the night before: apparently, this was to be my karma.

As for me, I would very much prefer to look at it as a new, much needed and more importantly, free, paint job for my car – special thanks goes out to my “friend” for it.

"What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keep on smilin’,

Does life go on and on and on?

Have you ever stopped and wondered what is the true meaning of life - if we were put here on this Earth for a reason? Surely it’s not to work our a**es off until retirement age…? & do we truly have to wait until then to finally enjoy our fruits of labour?

Are we doing a good job convincing ourselves that we are working 60 hours a week, for our family and for the sake of a better future for our children? Have we ever asked them if this is all they need from us?

Or do we always think that as parents, we know what is best for our children?

§

• When I was in primary school, my cousin brother got murdered on his way to the bank. I was too young then to even remember his age.

• During secondary school, I’ve had a schoolmate passed away due to brain hemorrhage – she was only 15 at that time.

• In university: talked on the phone to a close friend like we did on most nights and he ended up dead the next morning – he was only a year younger than I am. I still think of him each time I hear Celine Dion’s Because You Loved Me on the airwaves.

• In Jan’07, my baby cousin brother lost his battle with leukemia. If he’d been alive, he’d be 22 in September.

• I lost a grandaunt about a year ago when she had a stroke - she had been in the pink of health before it happened. She never recovered from her coma and left behind her husband of 40 years.

I hope the sun is shining on them, wherever they are at now…

§

Who says that we’ll only die when we grow older? Or only when we discovered we have cancer at its final stage?

The truth is that each one of us know that death is inevitable but we still refuse to acknowledge that it may happen sooner than we think.

What’s the good in all the money we have in the bank; or how many properties we own before we turn 35; and all the Prada & Gucci bags we have in our closets if we were to kick the bucket this second?

Is there such a thing as a Material Heaven where you can still collect all your earthly belongings at the vault?

The truth is that we die; our bodies decompose and get eaten by maggots. Unless you decide that you want to be cremated – this for me is a much better option than rotting away and having worms savoring my eyeballs.

I just have to keep reminding myself not to lose perspective along the way.

& I sure hope the same for you.

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.” - Lily Tomlin

XOXO,

The Giraffe & her destiny

Two nights ago, on my way home from the gym (yes, the couch potato does go to the gym but only once in a blue moon), I was driving with my stereo blasting & adrenaline pumping when I casually glanced at my left side mirror and this thought came across my mind: OH SHIT! – I have forgotten to push my mirror outwards before leaving the parking lot.

Why is it that every time I wish for the traffic lights to turn green, they won’t? And now that I desperately need the car to be in a stationary position, the light mockingly turns green just when I was about to stop, as if to jest me.

Since the traffic wasn’t too smooth that night, I decided to try my luck and stretch my left arm out of the window to push it, with my right foot slightly on the brakes (in case you are wondering, yes, the car was still in motion, slow motion, that is). If I was shorter, my guess would be that I have no other option but to pull over next to the curb to adjust the mirror after moving my a** either to the passenger’s seat or the handbrake area, depending on my height. & if I was a midget, I then would have to totally get out of the car to adjust it.

*

When I was in primary school, my nickname was giraffe.

But the problem is that this giraffe somehow has a birth defect because she didn’t know how to utilize her long legs – she hated all kinds of sports even though she has athlete genes running through her veins. Her mom was a sprinter during her younger days and her baby brother was really good in sports.

So after owning them for more than 15 years, hell am I glad that these long limbs of mine have finally been put to good use.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus, Greek philosopher

Keep smilin’, keep shinin’,

Much ado about nothing

The weather is getting hotter nowadays, which is kinda abnormal since year end usually brings the monsoon season along with it.

Or am I getting my memories mixed up with my younger days up north? When I was elated at the smell and sight of downpour... simply because it would mean that chances were that the area around my school would be flooded and I can spend the rest of my morning(s) snuggled under my warm blanket.

It’s funny how sometimes we are unable to see the forest from the trees… I guess I was young and naïve then that I wasn’t able to comprehend the impact of a bad monsoon.

Maybe at that time, I reckoned that the world did actually revolve around me.

I have to admit that until this day, I can’t say with certainty that I am all matured now – on occasions, I can still be as childish, snobbish and stubborn as ever.

Of late, most of us are griping about the scorching sun and how it never rains anymore. When for the past week or two we were cursing about how it keeps raining, especially in the evening, causing the traffic to be horrendous during rush hour.

Well, I guess God must be up there thinking that we are a bunch of whiners who are too damn difficult to please. Since He can’t please everybody, so why bother?

I personally always complain that I don’t have enough time, especially for my beauty sleep. Even if I was to be given extra 3 hours a day, I honestly doubt that I will have enough time to do all the things that I wanna do.

It's now quarter to 1 a.m. and although I am very much aware to the fact that I actually have less than 5 hours of snooze time left, I am still here typing away… Damnit! I need to get my hands on a time machine. Seriously.

“Our generation has an incredible amount of realism, yet at the same time it loves to complain and not really change. Because, if it does change, then it won’t have anything to complain about.” – Tori Amos

What's love got to do with it?

Was discussing about relationships with someone over dinner earlier. He said that he has found the key to making a relationship last – drumroll please... Don't, you heard me right the first time, I repeat, DO NOT live in with your partner.

How ironic.

When you only see each other on an occasional basis; perhaps over a few drinks/ dinners and a movie throughout the week then the truth is that you haven’t really had the opportunity to get to know the person at all.

But when two people decide to take a big step and move in together, then it’s a completely different situation altogether. You may be able to put on a fake front for about 1 or 2 hours per day, 3 times a week but to be a great pretender throughout your entire life can be a little too tiring, don't you think?

The most common mistake that we women make is that we think we can change the men in our lives. I guess you could say that we believe in the power of love. Or should I say we believe in miracles? Are we really that naïve? Even with superpowers, I doubt that this feat is achievable.

My question is this: How can we make over someone who does not see anything wrong with himself in the first place?

Every so often we only see the things we want to see, hear only things we feel like hearing and choose to believe in things that we yearn to be true.

I am curious as to how many people out there are in their existing relationships just to “be with someone” – the truth is that some people just can’t bear with the idea of being alone. Being in a loveless relationship is, in their opinion, a much better option than being SAD - Single, Available & Desperate. But is this fair to the other party in this so-called “relationship”?

Hell, who says life is always fair?

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." – Woody Allen

Hate that I love you

By Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oh..)

You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

Yeah... Oh...

That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...